The Many Faces of Freddy
Freddy is a scourge on the Left. He is destroying any chance of a political victory in the Left. His talk of false equivalence is nothing short of heresy. We are done defending the Left from the Left. We can only say “Screw you, Freddy!”
The New Zealand philosopher and public intellectual is a perfect example of the vampire-like nature of the PMC (the professional managerial class). He is sucking any sort of revolutionary potential on twitter in a pathetic attempt to appear “above” it all. This sort of solipsistic nihilism is not uncommon on the bird site, yet Freddy might as well be crowned as its Jester-Prince. A young bachelor (at least a bachelor in behavior and appearance) with a penchant for foul language, he has evolved into a self-absorbed egocentric (probably narcissistic) poseur who, rather than engage with real birds, lives vicariously through his own exploits. His claim to fame is that his buddy Spiff the Goose is “The first goose to fly.” Unfortunately for him, what Freddy truly loves about the life of a wild bird of paradise is the sense of freedom he experiences. His only real misstep is delving all his secrets to me, and I’m ready to put it all on the line.
Freddy is not actually a philosopher, nor a public intellectual. He is a paid shill for the PMC Institute for Woke Capitalism and Neoliberalism. He seems to be modelled after the sort of fictional social justice warrior (SJW) you might find in a comic book. His degree is in Gender Studies, and while studying abroad in the Americas he spent a semester at Wesleyan studying Journalism and Stand Up Comedy. You see, just like Neoliberalism in general, Freddy is a shapeshifter. While he appears to be your average friendly, adorable orange tabby cat, he actually turns into a brown striped puma whenever you apply a thermal power. What does this mean? Get ready for five minutes of pure hilarity, as Freddy waddles around your home in an effort to literally tear the skin from your face. Once he tires of his playtime, he goes inside the nearest vent or bin, and watches you from the other side of the wall. In other words, if you get scared enough, you’re not going to be able to
